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Running
Apr 12, 2006 19:33:10 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 12, 2006 19:33:10 GMT -5
A black and white striped kit ran as fast as she could, her feet barely touching the ground. They CAN'T catch me, they just CAN'T, I have to believe that She stared in horror as she saw a river that crossed the path she was going to take, and there was no bridge.What can I do? I have to go this way, I don't have a choice
Her leaf green eyes brightened as she realized that this could be helpful to her. She heard the yowls behind her getting louder, and realized that she wasn't running as fast anymore, against her will, she was getting tired.
I just have to get to the river, I just have to get to the river she repeated in her mind. When she was on the sandy bank of the river, a paw pushed her over into the river. She lay there in the shallow water, panting heavily, her eyes half glazed over.
"Little kit, just give up, there's no point in resisting" meowed the large black cat that had pushed her over.
"No I won't, I can't" She meowed, her voice weak. Then with the last of her strengh she stood up and leaped into the river.
Icy cold water surrounded her as she was carried away on a current.
"She won't survive, not in this water, this tired" meowed the black cat, purring in amusement. What have I just done? she thought, before her mind went blank, and she slept.
i'll probably change this a bit, but does anycat like it?
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Running
Apr 12, 2006 19:44:05 GMT -5
Post by [F]irekee on Apr 12, 2006 19:44:05 GMT -5
what happens next? *jumps up and down eagerly*
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Running
Apr 12, 2006 19:47:23 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 12, 2006 19:47:23 GMT -5
you liked it?
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Running
Apr 12, 2006 19:48:25 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 12, 2006 19:48:25 GMT -5
and i love your siggy!!!!!!! it's funny ;D
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Running
Apr 12, 2006 19:53:20 GMT -5
Post by [F]irekee on Apr 12, 2006 19:53:20 GMT -5
yeah! and thanks ;D
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Running
Apr 12, 2006 20:02:41 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 12, 2006 20:02:41 GMT -5
then i'll write more
The kit woke up, and looked in surprise at a golden face above her.
"So are you alright?" Asked a voice, it sounded young. She sat up and immediately water poured out of her mouth. Quickly she lied back down again, and realized that she felt horribly wet and itchy.
"Whats your name?" Asked the voice, and the golden face moved away from her, letting the sun shine down on her.
She shut her eyes against the glare of the sun and meowed softly "I don't have a name".
i can't write more now..........my mother wants me off the computer
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Running
Apr 12, 2006 20:03:18 GMT -5
Post by icefang on Apr 12, 2006 20:03:18 GMT -5
I like it, but there are some punctuation/capitalization mistakes that are bugging me.. First of all, I wouldn't bunch it all up into 1 paragraph, although a segment this short might not need to be divided into multiple paragraphs, and secondly there are several punctuation and capitalization errors. This is the nitty gritty stuff though..
Other then that, I liked the story!
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Running
Apr 12, 2006 20:04:17 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 12, 2006 20:04:17 GMT -5
so what would you do? i'll change it
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Running
Apr 12, 2006 20:18:51 GMT -5
Post by icefang on Apr 12, 2006 20:18:51 GMT -5
Oh no that's okay...
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Running
Apr 13, 2006 8:05:10 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 13, 2006 8:05:10 GMT -5
The golden cat looked surprised, but tried not to show it "Okay, well my name is Golden, Gold for short".
Nodding the kit pushed herself up again, staggered over to some grass, and sat down. She began to wash herself, and looked at the cat called 'Gold' suspiciously. He was a cat not much bigger than her, and his eyes were a yellowish color. His coat was completely golden covered, and she could tell by his scent that he had been hunting.
"Umm, if you don't have a name, what should I call you?" asked Gold, as he sat down beside her.
She looked at the fast flowing, dark gray river.The river brought me here, I didn't die, I owe the river......so I'll use it's name Smiling she stretched and meowed. "You can call me River".
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Running
Apr 13, 2006 10:05:28 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 13, 2006 10:05:28 GMT -5
"Alright" Gold meowed. Shifting uncomfortably, he added. "Would you like some food? I'll go catch some".
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Running
Apr 13, 2006 13:02:45 GMT -5
Post by reedfoot on Apr 13, 2006 13:02:45 GMT -5
*thumbs up* I like it! *sits in chair, waiting for more*
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Running
Apr 13, 2006 13:09:34 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 13, 2006 13:09:34 GMT -5
River sat up, her eyes beginning to sparkle again and meowed. "I can catch my own".
She walked through the long green grass near the river, liking the feel of the warm sunlight on her fur. She spotted a mouse near a rock, nibbling on a seed, and leaped on it. River quickly ate the mouse, savoring the tasty flavor of it. She stood up and looked at her reflection in the river.
i'm not a kit anymore, but i still have a journey, a destiny, a place to go. i'll have to leave here River looked at the peaceful river fowing by, and then she walked over to where Gold was. i don't want to leave here, i want to stay, and have a friend.......i don't have a choice, so many cats are relying on me, they could die if i didn't go, and maybe i can come back, all i have to do is belive i can find my way back to here.
Gathering up her courage, River walked to where Gold could see her. "So you're back, catch anything good?" meowed Gold, smiling at her.
"Gold, i'm leaving i have to go, you understand right?" River blurted out, her tail twiching.
"You're leaving, why?" asked Gold, plainly startled.
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Running
Apr 13, 2006 13:26:21 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 13, 2006 13:26:21 GMT -5
"Because i have to help some cats, they're counting on me, if i don't get there in time, they'll die". Meowed River, her green eyes sorrowful.
Gold took a deep breath. "I understand, can you tell me where you're going?" he meowed, not looking at her.
"To the mountains, to the sea" meowed River, almost crying. how can i just leave Gold behind after he helped me, and was so friendly to me? But she knew the answer
"And i can't come because I'll slow you down, right? Well when you're done, please come back here, okay?" meowed Gold, then softly he added. "goodbye".
River licked his ear and meowed Ii promise I'll come back to see you" before she walked quickly away, her black and white coat flashing in the sunlight as she walked towards the distant mountains. River glanced behind her and saw Gold watching her, his yellow eyes full of sadness. I'll come back to see him, this won't be forever, it can't be forever.
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Running
Apr 13, 2006 13:40:01 GMT -5
Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 13, 2006 13:40:01 GMT -5
River walked into the shade of a tree. Looking around, she realized that she had walked into a forest, and hadn't really noticed it.
River decided this didn't matter, and began to walk again. She had been running all day under the hot sun, and walking was a relief. River smiled when she saw a small patch of pink flowers under a bush, it was getting dark, and this would be a good place to sleep for an hour or two. Curling up underneath the bush, she discovered sleeping in a forest was nice, there was always a thick layer of leaves on the ground, which made sleeping comfortable.
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