its just me.

[rex.]

too many things have been happening to me this week...
tanner told me about how he asked james if he liked me and he said as a friend, now tanner has been very nice to me recently and is inviting me to movies and stuff-but he is inviting james along. im feeling like i dont want to see either one of them right now...but i just want some attention and someone to hold me when im feeling down, like now and i am just at that point where i need to break...okay ...breath...okay im better..

dunhams has been tiring. not really, but 4 hours of unpacking socks and still no employee number so i can get paid or use the register...really kills me at the end of the day.

and i am physically broken after soccer. my feet hurt. one of my toenails came off and im waiting on the other one...



and after i start to get the feeling many days before it happens i know i'll break. last time it was when alice told me she hated me. my own sister. and to top it off, that day, haley told me how my own grandmother and aunt were talking about me. i just broke, and thats what just happened only 10 minutes ago. haley was yelling at me because i waved at a car because they were going too fast and...i just dont know, i ran into the bathroom and broke.

i guess its when you think that everyone even your own family can hate you and all you are trying to do is please them and nothing you can do or say, not even 'sorry' or your most ernest 'i love you' can change that...i just... need a break. i need to sleep. im so tired of being thrown around and people confusing me. people talking about me. people taking my nuts at school. friends backstabbing you. and the people you thought loved you back turned out to think that you wernt anything special.


i am going to bed. i dont think im finished yet....i'll be better tomorrow. im sorry.
those of you who cared enough to read this. really, thank you. it means alot that people do care, especially now when i feel like no one could.

good night.

[::Fawn::]

[glow=red,2,300]OOH that stinks. My heart bleeds for you Kash![/glow]

[Marly]

wow.....i'm sorry kashy, i hope you feel better! atleast you don't know your family actually hates you(well, so what if your sister says she hates you, me and my brother say that to each other all the time...) perhaps it'll all heal over?

[::Fawn::]

[glow=green,2,300]Whoa, yeah i guess that's one way of putting it. Jesus Marly you are a cat of surprises! That's a compliment![/glow]

[coddle the infectionxxx]

Aww. Kashy... -glomps-

[::Fawn::]

[glow=green,2,300]Minty saya hi. She's at my house.[/glow]

[rex.]

...
more bad stuff

an hour drive out the an airfield because my dad got the idea somehow that i wanted to learn how to fly. dont get me wrong, it'd be fun, but he's making me pay for it all by myself. its cold out there. i have been very protective of my money since thursday, when my own friend stole my purse and she might have taken some money out, but i dont remember how much i had. everything is in the purse, and i am hanging onto my 30 for as long as i can. maybe i could buy myself a bike soon...i am getting paid soon from dunhams, so that will be good.

james's mom called me on friday, asking if i knew where he was so i called his phone and he didnt answer. his mom called back and told me she'd have him call me when she found him. either she forgot or someone killed him. >>

tanner let me down. this whole weekend i was (and i am even suprised by this) excited about going to the mall with him this weekend to see a movie. i called him up today after another 4 hours at dunhams, and he told me 'oh i went yesterday.'
'oh thank you' (that made him confused, but i was being sarcastic.)
but friday was okay. tanner, kaley and i walked to little ceasers and then dairy queen after school. i bought the pizza, he bought the ice cream, kaley just enjoyed our charity.


i invited so many people to my soccer game; Guillermo, James, Tanner, Sarah, Tim, Sheridan, Reza, Anthony, and a bunch of other people you dont know. only Guillermo, Tanner, one of Tanner's friends, Sheridan showed up though. but what was REALLY embarrassing was the fact that i didnt even play. coach didnt even look at me.

my stomache hurts.
i feel so tired.
i am about to learn some algebra that i should have learned a week ago. oh joy.
i pissed off the kid i get some of my answers from on tests by throwing my soccerball at him when he accused me of throwing pens at people. so i guess its time i learn to stand on my own two feet.

[The Only Froggems YOU KNOW!]

uh, oh, not good kashy... well, if you want to vent, im me on aim... i'll turn the speakers down... lol

[rex.]

i dont like to complain to people, if i post here, you only have to read it if you want to. im sure even you would get annoyed after a while. but thanks

[The Only Froggems YOU KNOW!]

oh dear, oh deary dear dear... poor kashio! *huggles*

[shadowkit]

poor Kashy!*Huggles you*

[::Fawn::]

Wait wait WAIT!! hold up a second! Who here has AIM cuz i do and i need more people

[The Only Froggems YOU KNOW!]

I DO FAWNY! WHAT'S YOUR USERNAME? KASHIO DOES TOO!

[::Fawn::]

my name is iluvmypony11. Pm me yours and Kashi's. PM me anyone elses that's on this site to, if you want lol.

[coddle the infectionxxx]

Kash, if it distracts you, I'm really HUNGRY. Okay. DOne now, mwah. Be better.