My story...not really good...

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BROOKHEART'S STORY

CHAPTER I

Brookheart shivered. It was the middle of leaf-bare, and she was out on an unsuccessful hunting patrol with her best friend Sunclaw, apprentice Hawkpaw, and another Clanmate, Whitefrost. She was lagging behind, thinking, and Hawkpaw stepped back to talk to her. "What's wrong?" he mewed. Brookheart shook her head and replied, "Nothing, just thinking." Her apprentice was kind enough not to answer. She thanked StarClan that he was so smart, because she did not particularly want to discuss the subject with him, nor any other cat. Suddenly her ears caught a sound. She recognized the sound of a squirrel scuffling the ground with its paws to find a nut. She turned, dropped into the hunter's crouch, and padded forward as lightly as she could, avoiding the dead leaves on the ground. She soon noticed that the squirrel was more than a bit scrawny, but that was normal for leaf-bare. She got close and pounced, digging her claws into the creature's throat before it could squeal. She took it in her powerful jaws, turned, and raced back toward the patrol. "Wait! I gart somfin!" she mewed, the squirrel garbling her speech. "Huh?" asked Whitefrost. She dropped the squirrel and repeated, "I found this. It's probably running short on provisions. Would have starved, anyway."
"Good job," Sunclaw said.
"Hey, I'm not an apprentice," she mewed, frowning.
"Well, I'm sorry for congratulating you for finding prey in this...cold."
"Whatever." She turned and walked back to camp, yowling back, "I'm going back. Good luck on your own." She knew she got mad easily, but Brookheart knew this was over the top. Returning home from a hunting patrol just a while after leaving for it? It just didn't happen. But she had another thought on her mind, and it was nagging her.

Chapter One to be continued.


It's not really good....but....yeah.

[//Cindy// l u n a]

What's the other thought?? I want to know! Write more!

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I actually forgot...lol...but I'll write more. I promise.

[shâdowõlƒ]

Nice! You aren't as bad as you think. Seriously!

I wanna know what she was thinking too! Write more! I need m o r e!

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okay...! Thanks! You guys are gonna have to wait for what she's thinking about...teehee suspension! Cliffhanger!
Chapter 2
Reedclaw

Reedclaw glanced at the rabbit. It was nibbling at a nut near a heather clump, at the entrance of its burrow. He dropped into the hunter’s crouch, crept up very quietly up behind the rabbit, and pounced. He killed it fast and mercifully with a bite in the throat as soon as his claws had sunk into its light brown fur and pierced its skin. He swiveled around, and trotted quickly up to the rest of his hunting patrol. He picked up the rest of his catch—a swallow, a mouse, and a thrush—and found he couldn’t hold it all in his mouth. He dropped his fresh-kill and mewed quietly to a Clanmate, Boulderpelt, “Can you help me carry this prey?” Boulderpelt hadn’t caught much; he’d gotten unlucky even with the warm, sunny newleaf weather. He’d only caught a small vole and a scrawny squirrel. He dipped his head. “Very well.” Suddenly, a smile crept around Reedclaw’s lips. Boulderpelt narrowed his eyes. “What?”
“Oh, nothing.” Though he didn’t say anything, Reedclaw’s yellow-amber eyes sparkled like the sun. Boulderpelt’s eyes narrowed until they were merely a slit; Reedclaw could barely see his amber eyes. Boulderpelt opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, then they heard a yowl coming from behind them, a little far off. “Reedclaw! Boulderpelt! What’s keeping you?” It was Russetfoot, their deputy. She had a short temper and was pretty impatient, so both cats glanced at each other, picked up the fresh-kill, and scurried up the hill like mice to catch up with the rest of the patrol. Whitestripe, a cat who always made fun of every other cat and seemed to like to be mean—maybe that was a reason why he had almost no friends—smirked. “Really, you two need to stop chatting and pay attention more. I’d think that you didn’t realize you weren’t an apprentice anymore, Reedclaw.” Reedclaw unsheathed his claws and his lips pulled back in the beginning of a snarl, but Russetfoot cut in before he could say anything or do what he was tempted to do—jump on top of Whitestripe and rip his fur off. “You two, stop. Now.” Both cats glared at each other, dark yellow and reddish-tinted eyes meeting and seeming to send off an electric charge into the air. The atmosphere suddenly felt very hot and statiky. Russetfoot sighed and turned away with Boulderpelt and Skyflower, one of their Clanmates. Reedclaw saw them and tore his gaze away from Whitestripe, hatred burning inside him. He hated Whitestipe so much, it hurt.He decided to just walk away. He padded along next to Skyflower. He felt her glance at him. She mewed, “So, how’s everything?”
Reedclaw felt his pelt grow hot. He forced himself to reply, “Um, well, nothing much. You know, the usual.” His voice didn’t come out trembling so much, to his great surprise. He snuck a glance at her. She was just so beautiful. He’d been thinking of her earlier, when he was talking with Boulderpelt. She smiled, a small smile that still sent a shiver down Reedclaw’s spine. He saw that they were nearing camp, and made up an excuse to get away so that Skyflower could not find out about how he felt about her. “Um, I have to go on patrol.”
“But, Reedclaw, you were just on patrol!”
Reedclaw felt like clawing himself. Of course! He was returning from a patrol right now. How stupid could he get? “Oh, uh, sorry. I meant, I have to go see Pumpkinwhisker.” Pumpkinwhisker was his sister.
“Oh, I’ll come with you then.”
He sighed inwardly. He tried lying. “Please, Skyflower, I have something important and secret to tell her.” Her beautiful blue eyes seemed to dull with pain and hurt and turn from crystals of blue into a muddled dark puddle, but she said nothing. Trying to make it up to her, Reedclaw mewed, “But I’ll go hunting with you after that—just you and me.” They had arrived at camp, and he stopped in the clearing and pleaded with his own dark yellow eyes. “Then we can eat our catch together in the evening at the spring.” Skyflower’s eyes seemed to brighten a bit; the two dark pools began to seem to reflect the sky. It was said that at the clear spring, many cats who became mates started loving each other there. “Okay,” she murmured. He felt relieved. Of course he wasn’t going to visit Pumpkinwhisker and her kits, he’d gone just before the patrol. He’d go off and hunt a little before meeting up with Skyflower at sundown. He sighed as she padded off. He’d be hunting the whole day. Oh well, he thought. The only thing was that he’d better be ready to see Skyflower and not have a nervous breakdown when the time came to meet her.




Reedclaw came into camp from behind the nursery, so that just in case Skyflower saw him, she’d think he was making his dirt after visiting Pumpkinwhisker, since cats usually made their dirt behind the nursery when they weren’t out of camp. He spotted her coming out from the warriors’ den and before she could see him, skidded out into the clearing. He panted as she arrived. “Come on, let’s go, Reedclaw,” she called as she got near him. She touched her tail to his shoulder as she walked past. “Come on.” He stared at her for a couple heartbeats, marveling at her beauty, then ran up next to her as she exited camp through the thorn tunnel that served as a barrier for enemies if they didn’t know how to get through it. Darktail, Pumpkinwhisker’s mate, was on guard duty, and had a look of curiosity about his face that flitted off immediately. Nevertheless, he nodded and let them go by without a word, his dark blue eyes watching them. Skyflower’s fur brushed Reedclaw’s, and a chill enveloped him. She seemed to get closer and closer until when they heard the roaring of the clear spring’s water, they were side by side, touching. Skyflower glanced at him; Reedwhisker could feel the heat of her blue eyes. They unanimously decided to sit down right by the spring instead of hunting first. Skyflower whispered, “You know, I’ve wanted to tell you something for awhile now.”
“What’s that?” Reedclaw’s heart pounded; he knew she could hear it pound and pound, it was so loud. She looked at him and he looked up and met her gaze. Clear pools of blue reflected a dark setting sun right next to them in the spring; it was the same with their eyes. Reedclaw cleared his throat. “So, um, want to hunt a bit?”
“Reedclaw, don’t change the subject.” Skyflower glanced around to see if there were any…listeners around the thin layer of oak trees. Beyond the small wood, there lay a vast area of clear land—AirClan’s territory. It was easiest for them to hunt there. Farther off, there was a huge lake that was the center of the Clans’ home. Across the lake, there were pine trees and a bit of wet marshland—FireClan territory. Their leader was Flamestar, and he was very hostile towards cats who didn’t like him and were not of his Clan. Between AirClan and FireClan on one side, there was flat ground like part of AirClan’s--EarthClan territory. They were known for their ability to side with any Clan in a battle. Their leader was Miststar, a kind young she-cat who’d become leader just over a moon ago, when EarthClan’s old leader, Duststar, had died of old age. Across the lake from EarthClan, and next to AirClan, Reedclaw saw streams and puddles. He also saw a couple cats padding along the border between AirClan and WaterClan—right where the trees stopped, not far from where Reedclaw and Skyflower stood. Reedclaw stared at them and begged them in his mind to leave—if he was spotted with Skyflower at the spring, rumors would spread like a fire. Suddenly her sweet voice pierced the silent atmosphere. Skyflower mewed, “You know Midnightfang? I really, really like him.”

It's longer than it seems...lol it's about 3 pages on Word.

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more:

Gentlepaw was very tired. She had not slept all night because of the suspension that had almost made her go into FireClan after she and Falconpaw had scented them in EarthClan territory. She had not told any cat, not even her closest friend, Flowerpaw, or Earthheart. As she padded out of the apprentice den, Miststar called out to her, “Gentlepaw! Could you come over here?” Gentlepaw thought that Miststar knew about what had happened last night. “Uh...we were just doing some night-time hunting…” she hesitated.
“What are you talking about? Oh, when you went out with the dawn patrol yesterday, and you hunted early,” the silver she-cat replied. “Uh…yeah…that’s it!” said Gentlepaw. “So, what did you want?” “Oh yeah, could you wake up Rowanheart for me? I need to talk to her. ” “Sure, I’ll go now.” Gentlepaw’s sleek black fur shone in the not-yet-risen sun as she raced across the camp.

As Gentlepaw passed the apprentice’s den, Flowerpaw came out and yawned, “Where are you going?” “
Oh, I’m doing something for Miststar.”
“Cool, bye.”
“Bye, see you.” The young white she-cat bounded away to the fresh-kill pile. Gentlepaw wondered if she suspected. “Nah,” she murmured. She went inside the warrior’s den and gently woke up Rowanheart. Also Firepelt’s mate, Firepelt the smallest warrior in EarthClan, Rowanheart was a noble warrior and followed the warrior code. Her apprentice was Flowerpaw. Rowanheart grumbled,
“What? I’m trying to sleep here.”
“Miststar needed you.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”
Gentlepaw padded away and almost ran into Falconpaw. “Hey, I was looking for you. Let’s go to the Thunderpath and watch the FireClan territory.”
“Why?”
“So we can find out what they’re up to.”
“OK.” They took a fat vole from the fresh-kill pile and walked toward the ravine. As they looked back to the camp, Gentlepaw thought, we are so in trouble for this.
When they reached the Thunderpath, they saw Flamestar, the leader of FireClan, and Clawface, the deputy of FireClan. They were discussing something in hushed voices. “Who goes there?” Clawface shouted suddenly. “Uh-oh,” Falconpaw whispered.

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Just saying: I typed this all like months ago! Maybe last year...but I edited it a couple months ago, and just found it on a USB. So...yeah. That's one chapter for each of the 3 main charries. Reedclaw's, so far, is the longest.

[//Cindy// l u n a]

Still really good! more!

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Might take me a while! Gotta try to think of what Brookheart's thinking about! lol

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I'm working on the next 3 chapters.

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I'm not done, but almost...anyone have comments on the rest?

[//Cindy// l u n a]

Yeah! It's really good. Maybe you should post it on Fanfiction?

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Maybe...not now though.