Stormy's Story of Amazing Hilarity

[|g.O.l.d.Y|]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL YOU ROCK STORMY!!!

~:Goldy:~

[icefang]

Whoops, accidentally deleted it, good thing I copied and pasted!!

Yeah, this is just me being weird... I need at least 3 new characters for Chapter 2, so enter anyone! It can be you, your cat, Darth Vader, I don't care! The less they relate, the better! I started off with Harry Potter charries though...

Stormy’s Story of Amazing Hilarity
By Stormy

Chapter 1: Hermione Ruins the Yule Ball

“HERMIONE!!!” yelled Ron. “We’re going to be late for the Yule Ball, hurry up!”

“One minute!” she hollered back. She sighed. Ron just couldn’t understand how hard it was to get ready. But she would take as long as she needed. She had been applying her new mascara for the past ten minutes, and her lashes looked great!

She walked down the stairs and saw Harry and Ron’s eyes widen. “The dress?” she asked.

“The eyelashes!” Harry said. “What did you DO to them?!”

“Oh, it’s this new mascara I used,” she said. “1,000,006 times the length and 65 times the volume.” She batted her eyelashes. “Like it?” But her voice was carried away in the great gust of tornado-force wind that blew from her eyelashes. Harry and Ron were blown away through the newly formed hole in the common room wall along with several couches and about seven first-years. She shrugged. I guess they can’t appreciate good makeup either, she thought.

She walked down the stairs, but then thought, what if Viktor is blown away? She pondered this for a while and she was struck with genius. She put an Imperturbable Charm on her face, and when she blinked, sure enough, there was no gust of hurricane force wind. She smiled, satisfied.

A while into the dance, she was talking to Viktor. He seemed to be enjoying herself… but she got careless. She batted her eyelashes again, she was too close. Her voluminous eyelashes went down, encasing him in them. She opened her eyes again. Where did he go?

“Viktor?” she called. “Viktor?” Meanwhile, she was swinging him around as she looked. He let out a muffled shout. “Viktor?!” she cried, realizing where he was. She blinked nervously, smacking him up and down against the floor. “Just a minute, I’ll get you out!” She reached up into the gunky black masses that were her eyelashes, but couldn’t reach them.

“One moment!” she called. “Accio!” Viktor came shooting out of her eyelashes. He was covered; head to toe, in the disgusting black stuff that was in her mascara.

“Oh, Viktor, I’m so sorry!” she cried.

“That’s it, Hermy-own-ninny,” shouted Viktor gruffly. “VE’RE OVER!” He stormed off.

“No, Viktor, wait!” called Hermione, but he was gone. She couldn’t suppress the tears. But she found out too late that her mascara was not waterproof.

-The Next Day-

“Wow, Hermione,” grunted Ron, struggling with a mop that was choked with gross, black mascara goo. “Forget ‘cry me a river’, how about ‘cry me an ocean’?” They were working on cleaning up the ocean of black mascara gunk that covered the grounds after Hermione’s cry.

“Any fatalities?” asked Harry.

“No,” said Hermione bitterly. “Well, they haven’t found Professor Flitwick yet, but no one ever liked him anyway.”

[icefang]

Okay, I REALLY needed to write this… just venting my annoyance on these two bass clarinets… if I decide to give them names they’re not real.

Oh, and Warning: Mild Language.

Chapter 1.5: THE TWO BASS CLARINETS GET B ITCH SLAPPED!

The two bass clarinets were talking.

A
G
A
I
N.

I couldn’t TAKE IT anymore! WHENEVER IT WAS HUMANLY POSSIBLE THEY WERE TALKING!!!! They stop. AT LAST! A few moments of peace and quiet until…

“Hey, Max, did you see that latest Yu-Gi-Oh episode?...” asked Derrick.

“Ooh, the one where Yu-Gi kills Laveterous with the Opaque Eyed Moss Colored Dragon?...” said Max.

I l o s t c o n t r o l . . .

*SMACK*

[|g.O.l.d.Y|]

*giggles* GO STORMEH!

~:Goldy:~

[icefang]

*huggles* you are my only feedback person so far, but then again, I'm not the best comedy writer (I'll leave that to Kash!)....

Oh, and a note to people: Like I said, I know I'm no comedic genius... I'm not even looking for how I can improve really. If you don't like it, you needn't reply and say you do, but don't say 'It's horrible, Stormy! YOU HAVE NO IMAGINATION!' (not that anyone would)

[The Only Froggems YOU KNOW!]

"It's horrible Stormeh! YOU HAVE NO IMAGINATION!" Just teasing yah, i like it, and in MY band some of the gay clarinets are ALWAYS talking, not me, THEM!!!! and then our director says, "Clarinets! stop talking!" and then i get mortified infront of EVERYONE! *gr....* anyways, LUFFLES IT! (and you! ;D)

[*Simply Seasle*]

well, (don't tell) but personally i like Yu-Gi-Oh GX.....it's probaly because my sister makes me watch it every week day..........

[icefang]

That's not the problem, I can tolerate Yu-Gi-Oh GX, even though I think it's a tad ridiculous, but GOSH!!!!!!! THEIR INCESSANT YAPPING WAS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!

[*Simply Seasle*]

my cousin is named Max.......sorry, off topic

[icefang]

AH-HAHA! THE LONG AWAITED CHAPTER TWO! If you've never seen Star Wars (*hisses and spits*) then you may not get some of the references.

Warning: This is kind of stereotypical to college girls who just happen to be peppy… no offense if anyone takes it!

Chapter 2: Darth Vader Gets a Part Time Job

Darth Vader stumbled down the street. He was very cranky. It was swelteringly hot, and his all black full body suit only attracted the heat. He could feel sweat streaming down what was left of his mutilated, curdled skin. He was on his way to the Cappuccino Crib to get a part time job.

Why, you ask? Why when he already had secured himself a cozy spot as Sith Lord? Well, Darth Sideous decided that he wasn’t special enough to be even the Sith Village Idiot, so he was kicked off. And now he has to find a place to work in order to get some money. So he was on his way to his job interview at the Cappuccino Crib.

When he got there, a peppy little college girl greeted him. "Welcome to the Cappuccino Crib, may I take your order?"

"INFODEL!!!" he shouted. The poor girl was paralyzed with fear. "I AM NOT HERE FOR A CAPPU- capp-"

"Cappuccino?" she supplied tentatively.

"SILENCE, FOOL!!!" he yelled. "I AM NOT HERE FOR ONE OF THOSE, I AM HERE FOR A JOB INTERVIEW!" His eyes blazed and his cape swirled around him in a dramatic gust of wind.

"Well you could’ve just said so!" she laughed, ruining the moment. "Follow me!" She led him to a tiny, confined room with another peppy college girl sitting inside. "Hi Jenny!" she said. "This is the new initiate!"

"Thanks Jenna!" Jenny trilled. "KISSES!" She and Jenny exchanged pecks on the cheek and Jenny flounced away.

"So!" Jenna began. "What’s your name?"

"Erm… Garth," he said. "Garth Vader."

Jenna scribbled something down. "Okay Mr. Vader," she said. "What prior experience do you have?"

"Prior experience?" he fumed. "I was the best of the Jedi! I was destined to bring balance to the Force! I became a Sith Lord to save Padme, my wife! I was one of the greatest and most feared Sith lords in all of time! I—"

"Okay, none," she said, scribbling a little note on her clipboard. "Now, why did you come to work here?"

"Because," he grumbled. "I was kicked off the Sith."

"Because you were fired," she said, raising her eyebrows. "Well I’m very sorry Mr. Vader, but we don’t hire people who have been fired from a previous job. You could try the Latte Loft, though!"

"FOOL! he yelled. He grabbed Jenna by her neck and ran into the main store, jumping on the table. All the customers and employees screamed. "I WILL SHOW YOU ALL THE POWER OF THE SITH! I WILL DEMONSTRATE ON THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFE FORM!" He shook Jenna’s limp body, which was quickly losing air. He threw her down into a heap, and she laid down, curled up and quivering. "WATCH AS I DESTROY HER!!!!!!" He waved his arms in extravagant gestures… nothing happened.

Someone coughed. A cricket chirped. "Lame!" someone yelled. "WHY ISN’T IT WORKING?!" he screeched. "Dude, you’re in a different story, the Force doesn’t exist here, so you cuh-LEARLY can not use it!"

"Well," Darth Vader said. "When worst comes to worst, I can always resort to brute force!" He whipped out his handy dandy AK-47 and began shooting as he yelled, "DIE, SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAS!" But a bullet bounced off of something and hit Darth Vader in the chest, right where a button marked EJECT was.

He was thrown out of his suit, and instead of a mutilated, burned, broken, curdled figure, a scrawny little nerd appeared, complete with glasses that made his eyes look like Ping-Pong balls and a pocket protector. Then another bullet hit and killed him. Right before he died, a premonition of Obi Wan appeared, saying, "Anakin, you were supposed to bring balance to the force, not die while trying to kill a coffee shop, you dolt!"

After the dust cleared, Jenna stood up. "I quit!" she trilled. "C’mon Jenny, let’s go to the Java Joint!" They stamped furiously out of the Cappuccino Crib which had been reduced to rubble.

FIN

[[F]irekee]

rocalof *rools off chair and laughs on floor*