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Post by brightheart on Apr 19, 2006 16:33:43 GMT -5
Fern lived near the woods with her twolegs and owned a small house.And once when she was out in the garden of her house she found an injerd tom.She helped it best as she could and soon he was well enogh to travel.While she nersed him for the night he told her of the forest where five clans lived,Riverclan,Thunderclan,Windclan,Shadowclan,and Starclan where dead warriors go..And how him and a few warriors from shadow clan where supposed to meet some bloodclan warriors.He said they where horrible things that where kittypets and I should not seek them.Thats all I could think about,that and how dreamy the tom was,I never caught his name though!  Later g2g! Brightheart~*~*~*~* |
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Post by rex. on Apr 19, 2006 18:51:13 GMT -5
you switched from third person-or a narrator, and at the end it became an autobiography...so i found it hard to follow, but its a good start
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Post by brightheart on Apr 20, 2006 5:54:05 GMT -5
Ok,thanks!I'll work on that.
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Post by brightheart on Apr 21, 2006 6:03:56 GMT -5
Suddenly the bushes in the garden moved.Fern got ready for a fight pacing herself.A tom with a black pelt and blue eyes poped out."Oh its you."She said cooly.It was the tom she meet last night.He jumped up to the fence she was sitting on."I forgot to thank you."he meowed in replie."You never told me your name?"fern asked curiusly."Oh yah,its shadepaw.Your fern rite?"he asked."Yep!"replied fern happily."Now let me teach you something,alright?" "What?"she asked confused."You didnt even get into a good fighting position,and instead you looked like a cat going to get clawed by a badger."Fern was rather taken aback from his coment."Why did you come here anyway?"She meowed irritated."Oh that,I already told you,to say thanks for healing my injerd pelt.remmember,it got clawed up by the blood clan?"he ansewred in replie."Oh well you best be going your clan will need you."he paused for a second to thinnk."I know,I know!I'll be back in a few days."he answered back.And with that he jumped over the fence and was gone into the greenery of the forest.
G2G Later!
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Post by brightheart on Apr 23, 2006 8:15:05 GMT -5
What does he think I am,A kittypet or something,Oh right,I AM a kittypet.she thought.A few days past and still he did not show,no shadepaw."Maybe if I trained to be a warrior I could join his clan!"she perred aloud to herself."And I could stop eating,KITTYPET pelets,YAY!!!"That was an even better idea.For the next few days she trained herself in:Hunting,Battle,and, loyalty.
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Post by brightheart on Apr 24, 2006 5:34:36 GMT -5
The next few days she practiced battleing on her friends,huntting on garden birds,and loyalty to so flowers.Fern was very pleased with herself.The bushes moved again and she was quite sure it was shadepaw,afterall he always came this way. Sorry there so short not enough time to write!  |
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Post by lillystream on May 20, 2006 17:31:51 GMT -5
Fern looked up at the bushes to see his unmistakable pelt, but to her surprise, he was in terrible condesion. "Whats wrong?" Fern asked franticly.
".....Bloodclan....." he panted.
"Oh you poor thing!" She exclaimed and rubbed her head to his pelt, "I've been training." Fern told him.
"...Really?" He panted again. "You will be a fine warrior at heart." He tried to purr but it sounded like he was choking. "I better get back to the clan before im missed....--"
"I'm coming!" Fern cut in
He looked at her with a look of trust and nodded at her
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Post by lillystream on May 20, 2006 17:32:27 GMT -5
I hope its ok if i write too!
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on May 28, 2006 11:23:44 GMT -5
you should write it, you're a better narator
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Post by brightheart on Jun 1, 2006 16:36:48 GMT -5
yah you are, you can write the whole story if you want, thats fine with me. Your a talented writter.
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Post by bluestarim on Jun 3, 2006 13:29:02 GMT -5
Thats good!
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