Post by |g.O.l.d.Y| on Jun 17, 2009 0:32:39 GMT -5
So I wrote up to six chapters on this story about a year or so ago and I recently started rewriting it. Same basic plot, just some editing. =] I would love to hear some feedback. The name will be changing just as soon as I think of something better.(any ideas?)
Chapter 1
Goldkit’s soft kitten fur was easily ruffled by the soft breeze as he walked through the mud toward the strong bracken that served as the nursery. His small head was lifted high and proud as he neared his destination, no longer afraid of bullies now that he was the eldest kit in the clan. Lightstorm had kitted last night and Grassheart was well on her way, already refusing to leave her warm nest.
"Goldkit, step forth." A calm and elegant voice called out, stopping the young tom in his tracks. The kit stopped outside the nursery entrance and turned around, his ears perked up in surprise. Standing atop a dense pile of reeds and moss was his leader, Rainstar, calling his name. What did she want with him? Taking a moment to go through the possibilities of why she would call him up front before the clan in a meeting, he quickly concluded that now that he was of six moons it was time for his apprentice ceremony. He was off in a flash. His short golden legs tried their hardest to get him there quickly, but he wasn’t the fastest cat in his clan. Then again, since when were RiverClan cats known for their speed?
The kit slowed down as he neared the crowd filled with the familiar scents of his clan, panting heavily from his hard run across the camp. He looked around at the different faces, pausing to meet eyes with the few that he had gotten to know well. There were a few that he had only seen once or twice in his short six moons of life, but all wore encouraging smiles. Excitement overtook him as he weaved through the warm bodies to get to the front, joined with a stab of pain. His mother would never get to share proud moments like this with him.
Two moons ago, Goldkit’s mother, Tawnywing, had been claimed by greencough, the deadliest sickness known to RiverClan. Luckily, Raindance, a young queen with kits of her own, was kindhearted enough to share with him the same gentle touch she gave her own kits. Goldkit would have loved the time spent with her had it not been for one of her own two kits, Kashpaw. The younger and smaller kit had to deal with treacherous teasing and overpowering while Kashpaw dwelled in the nursery with him. It had been a welcomed break when the older tom left the nursery a moon ago, but now things were going to go right back to the way they were the moment he set paw in the apprentice’s den.
"Goldkit, step forward, please!" Rainstar’s voice rang out louder this time with a bit of an edge that made Goldkit jog the last few steps to his leader. A loud scoff made his ears burn and he did his best not to glare in the direction that he knew it came from. Kashpaw was sitting in the front row next to his sister, Brookepaw. Lightningpaw, a newly made black she-cat apprentice, sat close to the treacherous tom, their flanks almost touching. Goldpaw tried to keep down his jealousy as he finally came to a stop before his leader, looking up at her timidly.
"Goldkit, you are of age to become an apprentice of RiverClan. From this day forth you shall be known as Goldpaw, may StarClan light your path. Berrytail, you have proven yourself an able warrior with skills worthy of being passed down to our clan‘s youth. You will mentor Goldpaw, may you teach him all the skills that your own mentor has taught you."
The newly named Goldpaw felt his heart swell with pride as he looked around wildly for Berrytail, waiting for her to emerge from the crowd as they chanted his new name and complete the ceremony by touching noses with him. After the chanting died down and silence rang through the camp it was obvious that Berrytail was not stepping forward. Goldpaw’s tail drooped in disappointment and he sat down, giving Rainstar a questioning look.
Her chilly blue eyes scanned the camp area one last time while her faded blue tail lashed back and forth in what Goldpaw could guess was a sign of annoyance. “Who was last to have seen Berrytail?”
The clan murmured amongst itself, but no cat stepped forward. Rainstar let out a sigh and Goldpaw began to fear that she would say to disregard the ceremony. He had never witnessed anything like this happen nor had he heard another cat mentioning it. “No one?” Still no cat stepped forward. “Very well then. Lightningpaw, take Goldpaw and search the camp for Berrytail. If she is not here get a warrior to go out and search the forest and the fishing gorge with you.”
The black she-cat wasted no time in springing to her paws and objecting, “But Lizzardtail was going to take me to see the other apprentice’s assessments!”
Rainstar flicked her tail, but her response held no sympathy, “It is not your assessment and therefore it is not necessary for you to attend the event. I believe Lizzardtail would agree with me, am I right Lizzardtail? Perhaps he would be willing to give up some of his time and help you search for Berrytail.”
The white tom gave a simple nod to his leader before setting his unnatural white eyes on the two apprentices. Goldpaw wasn’t sure how to respond to his stare other than shrink back slightly and look at his paws. Lightningpaw’s newfound moodiness was radiating off of her, but she knew better than to say anything else. Rainstar dipped her head to the rest of the clan before returning to her den. “Meeting adjourned.”
Goldpaw watched her go then slowly turned to Lightningpaw. She wasn’t pleased in the slightest bit. The golden tom had never spent much time with the young she-cat, she always seemed to be attached to Kashpaw’s side. He wasn’t sure how much of the other tom’s dislike for him had rubbed off on her. This might be his only chance to get Lightningpaw to see his true colors.
.~.
Berrytail could not be found in the camp and Lightningpaw was in a nasty mood. Goldpaw held his tongue as they walked down the narrow strip of land that ran alongside the river and toward the forest, Lightningpaw in the lead. He restrained from suggesting they search the fishing gorge first, knowing it wouldn’t end well no matter how good of an idea it may be. It never did with her.
He was surprised by Lizzardtail’s almost eerie silence since they had left camp. The white tom had mumbled something about taking up the rear then abandoned his vocal skills for the rest of their journey. All Goldpaw wanted to do was run back alongside him and ask question after question, but he had decided it would be best to try and mimic the warrior best he could.
The black she-cat led them into the forest and weaved in and out of the trees with a hard expression that was all too easy to read: She’d rather be anywhere but here. Goldpaw tried his best to keep a solemn expression and smiled whenever she turned her head to glare at him. After the seventh time she felt it necessary to vent at least some of her anger. “What?!”
Goldpaw flinched before responding quietly, “What do you mean what?”
“’What do you mean what?’” Lightningpaw mocked, rolling her eyes. “What’s with the constant smiling? Alright, I get it, you’re an apprentice. Yippee! Trust me, it wears off.”
He didn’t know what to say so he simply looked back at Lizzardtail, begging silently for some help, but the silent warrior was looking up instead of forward, pretending not to hear the conversation going on in front of him. He had to settle for meowing a quiet “sorry.”
“Oh, so you’re going to be that kind of apprentice. Well, we don’t need that,” her voice took on a softer edge for a moment, “Look, training’s going to be tough. After a long day of battling practice no cat’s going to be in a good mood. You can’t let them walk all over you. Don’t.say.sorry.”
With that, the black she-cat looked ahead again and picked up the pace. Goldpaw gaped for a few seconds before focusing on catching up, completely confused.
As they neared the center of the forest a cold wind blew past them and made the tiny green leaves of the trees flutter wildly. Greenleaf was well on its way and soon the prey would be thriving. As if to prove it, a sparrow chirped from up in a tree and Goldpaw looked up hungrily. He remembered the elders discussing how lightly they punished apprentices for eating when on duty nowadays. Goldpaw, of course, had agreed right away to gain their approval like any sensible – and hungry - kit.
He snapped back into reality when he bumped into Lightningpaw who had stopped to sniff the air. Her pelt bristled and she hissed then arched her back. she spat viciously, "Stay away from me, you stupid fleabag! Go and chase your little tail while I actually try to find your mentor!"
The golden apprentice was taken aback by such a hostile tone coming from the she-cat that had just been giving him advice and took a few timid steps back until his tail met a tree trunk. "Right, sure thing, Lightningpaw, I’ll do that."
Lightningpaw gave an aggravated hiss and turned, slinking off into the grass quickly. She obviously meant to leave the novice apprentice behind. Goldpaw turned around to glance at Lizzardtail, but had to do a doubletake when he didn’t see him right away. The white tom had disappeared. He wondered how long ago.
Goldpaw lifted his nose into the air and took a good, long whiff of the air around him, following the scent that clogged his scent glands. He looked quite foolish with his short, gold tail straight up, along with his head as he padded forward unseeingly. The scent was getting stronger and how it reeked! It was cats, he could tell that much, but they smelled like foxdung…or what he supposed foxdung smelled like.
Wait. He had smelled this before. When cats returned from the Gatherings and shared tongues with him they carried the faint odor of three other rival clans. This one was ShadowClan. Elders had told him many a time when he was a small kit that the cold winds of ShadowClan’s territory chilled their hearts. ShadowClan was always causing trouble, and it seemed like they were up to their old tricks if he was smelling them in RiverClan territory. Their smell was mixed with something else still though. He had smelled it in the clan’s prey pile a few times and had been immediately ordered to bury what the older cats referred to as ‘crowfood.’
Adrenaline pounded through Goldpaw as he started to creep along as stealthily as he could, keeping his belly and head low to the ground. Every time he heard a crunch or a crack underneath his paws his fur would bristle wildly and a chill went down his spine. Taking a deep breath he poked his head out from the heather then immediately pulled it back in. He settled for a small crack in the foliage and felt his chest start to rumble as he whined softly. Two foreign she-cats and a tom were casually strolling only a few fox lengths in front of him.
He unsheathed his never-before-used claws as he waited for them to come closer. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to fight them, but his doubt was quickly replaced as he got a clearer view of the cats. They were holding limp and fresh prey in their jaws! RiverClan’s prey! It was ridiculous to already want to fight for his clan when he had no prior experience, but the flash flood of hatred he felt run through his body had him almost shaking.
Goldpaw tensed up his muscles, waiting for the intruders to get just a little bit closer…when out of nowhere Lightningpaw flew down from the sky and landed square on the tom’s back. Goldpaw looked quickly up to the tree where his clanmate must have jumped down from before looking back to see the young she-cat with her teeth buried into the larger tom’s scruff. He stood hooked to the spot as she was easily flung from his back.
Lightningpaw bravely got back up, but was not able to contain a wince. The anger in her voice was clear, “This is RiverClan’s territory, or is your stench making you blind as well as unable to smell? How could you have not heard our patrol coming?”
The tom sneered at the small apprentice and the two she-cats dropped their prey. At first glance Goldpaw would have said they were lean and tough, but now he could see they were scrawny with every rib visible. They did, however, still have their muscle. No pity overcame Goldpaw as he stared at the hungry cat’s ribs. RiverClan was his home and no cat would steal their prey. If they were so hungry they should just leave the forest and look for a home elsewhere. ShadowClan was nothing but trouble - with them gone it would mean more prey for the other clans.
“Do you think you will drive us out all by yourself, apprentice?” hissed the black fleabitten tom.
“Moonscar,” muttered one of the she-cats, “she said patrol. There might be others.”
All of the ShadowClanners were scrawny, but this she-cat was small already. Goldpaw wondered how desperate they must be for able bodies if they would bring a cat as pathetic-looking as her along.
The tom looked around for a moment, a little bit of nervousness creeping into his eyes until the other she-cat spoke up. “Then go scope out the area, Emberclaw. Moonscar and I will be able to handle one apprentice.”
The small she-cat, Emberclaw, crouched low to the ground and gave the two larger cats a glare, but she wasn’t going to be able to get out of it now. She stalked off quickly out of sight. Goldpaw could only hope Lizzardtail was nearby and had found a good hiding spot.
Lightningpaw didn’t take kindly to being talked about absently. She puffed out her fur so she looked twice her size - which was still quite small - and hissed. Moonscar and the other she-cat looked back to her with half-amused smirks. Goldpaw knew this couldn’t be good.