darkheart of old shadow clan modfied

[jaystripe]

name:shadowheart

clan: old shadow clan

Job: warrior

age:22 moon

Peltige he has pale gray eyes they always seem like he off wondering somewhere that your not sure of. His pelt is almost solid black except for a small white spot around his left eye. His fur is short and so is his tail because of that he often called stumpy.

Personality : he not very social except for a few close friend he often seems dark and withdrawn. As a result of this alot of cats dont trust him but at heart is a loyal warrior whoa ctual shy but he doesnt like to let it show. He a fierce warrior and a decent prey hunter but during battle can get carried away. IT was believed that he was going to leave for new shadow clan but it wasnt true he very loyal to his clan.

IC: Darkheart was walking back from the hunt when he heard his name called out . IT was his least favorite cat who said hey stumpy. losing his temper he jumoed on him and swiftly attacked him once more getting carried away once he realized what he did he was very sorry but it was to late the damage was done.



code:2009

[//Cindy// l u n a]

Just a few things. The list looks longer than it is.

For your history (which you don't need by the way) it doesn't match with the plot. The plot is that an ambitious cat named Touslepelt left RiverClan wanting revenge on all the Clans. He gathered together an army of Loners and teamed up with RogueClan. There were a few ShadowClanners who decided that they wanted to purify ShadowClan. They got Touslepelt's help and chased "softy" cats out of ShadowClan. Those cats are taking refuge with ThunderClan right now, and both groups are lying low.

The name is taken. Usually that would be alright if the two cats are in different Clans, but the other Darkheart is the leader of RogueClan - so maybe you could change it. Sorry about that - I know how tough it is to change a cat's name. How about Shadeheart? Or Shadowheart? Or Darksoul?

[STREAMY ?!]

And adding on to what Cindy is saying, I've seen you speak in proper grammar and stuff out of character, and maybe you could do that in your bios? I've just noticed that you tend to use a lot of run-on sentences, and not capitalizing or using punctuation and stuff. We're a beginner's site but we also encourage good grammar, so I'm just pointing that out :]

[jaystripe]

o srry sometime when i type i forget to pay attention to that stuff and i like shadowheart

[//Cindy// l u n a]

Accepted!