waterpaw

[Mousefire]

name Waterpaw
clan riverclan
position apprentice
age 6 moons
gender tom
peltage white and gray streaked fluffy pelt with blue eyes and big paws. Small with slightly puffed-up tail. Has blue streak on left back paw.
personality very playful and loves to tease, but is very obedient towards the warrior code. Also tends to get into a lot of mischeif.
IC Waterpaw bounded into the trees,excited at his chance for freedom. He ducked through the underbrush, headed towards the river. Suddenly he skidded to a halt. There was a patrol up ahead! Quickly, he dashed under a nearby bush, straining not to be seen..
code: blood

[//Cindy// l u n a]

That's a good start, but here are a couple things:

can you add two or three sentences to your pelt description? Also, your IC should be like a real post: also four or so good, long sentences.

[Mousefire]

how bout now?

[//Cindy// l u n a]

Much better! Accepted.