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Post by shadowthunder on Dec 15, 2006 18:51:53 GMT -5
The sky. The wide, azure expanse that hung over all the clans, over all the world. What a mysterious thing this 'sky' is. It could change from a warm, bright blanket of blue, to a threatening, ominous cloud of black in a second. It held the clouds, the moon, the sun, and Silverpelt, where the ancestors of StarClan resigned.
One cat, a tom, was particularly interested in the sky. He sat, tail stiff, ears errect, motionless, gazing up at the sky with deep, thoughtful eyes. He was like this on many an occasion, and sometimes he would sit still for hours on end, simply staring into the blue. The sky was endless. It traveled on, past all horizons, and past places no creature could venture past. A curious thing it was.
Shadowthunder still sat contented. The sky had been covered that night. Rolls of overbearing clouds had conceiled the night stars and the moon. The tom cat felt a sudden block rise up in his mind. Almost like a reminder not to think of such things. His defense against the memories had become almost instinct now. His tail wagged once to the left, then rest over his paws, which had unconsciously been kneeding the earth in anxiety. Shadowthunder dared not to open his mouth, or utter a word. He stayed locked in his own thoughts, where he could be safe.
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Post by Tears{May}Fall on Dec 15, 2006 18:57:22 GMT -5
Rainkit padded out of the nursery, making sure to keep quiet. She had great respect and admiration for Shadowthunder. She padded up to sit down next to the tom. SHe raised her head to look into the sky. "Shadowthunder?" She mewed in a small voice, which was unlike the mischevious always in trouble she-kit. "Is your family up there?" She asked quietly. "Mine are..." She said. Her mind was quiet for a while. She turned her gaze to fix it on Shadowthunder. "Um...I just turned apprentice age today... Moongleam is probably going to be my mentor... I just thought I would tell you...." She said, her voice almost a whisper.
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Post by shadowthunder on Dec 15, 2006 19:19:51 GMT -5
Shadowthunder just about lept out of his skin at the kit's voice which had abruptly disrupted his thoughts. True, the voice had been quiet and soft, not exactly shocking, but with Shadowthunder's senses strained, his ears had been ready and caught anything they could. Once his fur settled, however, the tom cat looked down towards the small kitten, his eyes now possessing a saddened, yet comforting gleam to them.
"Well, I guess we've both been unlucky then." He answered quietly, trying to mask any depression his his tone. He smiled, "But I'm sure you'll make a very fine apprentice, as Moongleam is a fine warrior."
He held his gaze with Rainkit for a few moments longer before drifting back up to the sky. This kit had already suffered in her short time of life what he had suffered through for the moons of his. He couldn't help but feel guilty. Here he was, feeling sorry for himself, when this kit had the same experience at such a young age. Shadowthunder's tail began to skim across the ground lightly, making soft russling noises. In a way, he almost wished he could be Rainkit's mentor, but he didn't count on it. The kit had spoken of Moongleam already occupying that position, and he was sure that she deserved this place as a mentor far more than he did.
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Post by Tears{May}Fall on Dec 15, 2006 19:49:13 GMT -5
Rainkit tried to keep his gaze, but failed. "I really hope so... I promised Greyheart I would someday beat him in a fight. I really want to be good like him... But.. Shadowthunder.. I feel lost. I don't know how to explain it... But I have no one but my close friends..." The kit's blue eyes shone at that thought. "Maybe you could be my dad?" She asked, her tail prickling with the thought that he may say no.
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Post by shadowthunder on Dec 15, 2006 21:00:23 GMT -5
Shadowthunder listened intently to Rainkit speak of Greyheart and her goal and promise. He could understand that, most kits wanted to be like someone, so it was natural. The tom began to grow more and more relaxed as the conversation progressed. It felt good to speak to a fellow RiverClanner, even one so young and small. He had just begun to look Rainkit's way again when the she-kit asked the question. 'Maybe you could be my dad?'
Shadowthunder froze almost instantly at these words, his optics enlarging, dialating, and forming a shocked expression. It had never crossed his mind that this question would or even could come up, especially so soon after the conversation was started. Shadowthunder looked down at Rainkit fully now, his eyes closing a bit. It brought back the memories, memories of Solemnheart, of their kits whom would never breathe in the RiverClan scent. Two would have been. A tom and a she-kit. In fact, Now that Shadowthunder thought about it, they would be only a little older than Rainkit, and still young apprentices.
The tom began to choke on his words, trying very hard not to show his mixed feelings of both gratitude and sorrow. He didn't not want to refuse the young cat, but, strange as it may sound, he was afraid to say yes. He was afraid that if he became the kit's 'father' something would happen to ruin it all.
"Lost..." Shadowthunder began, "It's a familiar feeling. One that many of us cannot avoid in life." His eyes closed completely and a small smile wormed onto his maw. "Rainkit, if you'd like me to be your father.... Then that is what I will be."
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Post by Tears{May}Fall on Dec 15, 2006 21:17:39 GMT -5
Rainkit's little heart swealed at the tom's answer. She couldn't help it, tears formed in her eyes. SHe didn't want to make her 'father' any more anxious so she did not bury her head in his pelt like she would have liked. She had learned not to seek such things, since no one had been there to do so when her parents had passed. "Thank you...dad...I've needed one for so long..." The kit mewed.
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Post by shadowthunder on Dec 15, 2006 21:42:24 GMT -5
Seeing the tears whell up in Rainkit's eyes, Shadowthunder could tell how relieved she was, as well as the eminant joy that gathered in her. He felt his heart lift as well. With Rainkit being so joyous, the tom felt himself see a bit of his lost kits in her. It made the lump in his throat reappear. This time, however, he needn't care, for it was out of happiness that it had come back.
Deciding on his next course of action, Shadowthunder leaned down and gingerly licked Rainkit's ear as a sign of affection. Of course, he wasn't truely bonded to the kit, but time could fix that. He did want to get closer and know exactly what happened to her family, but he knew from experience that that was a tender area and would take time to uncover.
"Now now," Shadowthunder whispered in a sober tone, "You should best stop that before the other cats see you. Or would you rather have to explain this whole thing to the others?"
He knew the other cats would get a bit worried if they saw little Rainkit crying, and he wanted to save her some unwanted questions. He smiled his usual somber smile and listened intently fo her next words.
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Post by Tears{May}Fall on Dec 15, 2006 21:52:49 GMT -5
"No..." Rainkit said. "I don't want them to see me weak..." She said. The kit quickly hiped her eyes and looked up at her new father. "Do you know how to be a father? Becuase I don't know how to be a daughter..." She said quietly.
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Post by shadowthunder on Dec 16, 2006 21:54:00 GMT -5
Shadowthunder closed his eyes and sat back up straight, as if not hearing Rainkit's concern. He seemed almost like stone, with the only sign of his life being the gentle rise and fall of his flank. Suddenly the tom took in a deep breath. It calmed him, taking in the familiar, yet still alien scents.
His eyes opened slowly as he gazed up, once again, at the small wisps of clouds that drifted across the blue horizon. What had began as another time of thought, had transformed into an adoption of this little she-kit. Shadowthunder's smile grew slightly. He was happy to have found someone like Rainkit.
"No..." Shadowthunder sighed, "But there's always time to learn."
His body didn't move after those words were uttered. He was content for the moment, and that was enough. Of course, this wasn't the same as if his kits had survived, but a part of Shadowthunder, the unrealistic, hopeful part, wanted to believe it could be.
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Post by Tears{May}Fall on Dec 17, 2006 9:52:34 GMT -5
Rainkit sighed and looked away from Shadowthunder. She felt lighter than normal; like she had swallowed a cloud. “That’s a good thing…” Rainkit answered. “Dad?” The kit mewed. “I’m sorta collecting every cat I sees story. What’s yours?” She asked.
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Post by shadowthunder on Dec 17, 2006 11:24:21 GMT -5
Shadowthunder's face became solemn, thoughtful, as if contemplating whether or not to answer. These were deep wounds that Rainkit was attempting to open, and Shadowthunder wasn't sure if he could completely tell of the events that had happened. He breathed in deeply, hoping to settle his soul long enough to speak.
"It..." Shadowthunder fought for words, "It's a long tale. One that can't be told in one setting."
The tom cat paused, for both effect and to gather himself a bit more.
"I suppose I can start at the beginning, though." He readied himself, "I wasn't born here, though I've lived as a member of RiverClan for some time now. I was conceived by a ShadowClan Rogue, and I was fathered by a ThunderClan exile. It was a small litter of two with just me and my sister. We lived as a loner family until my father died." Shadowthunder stopped again, taking a breath, " And that was it for our carefree life. Mother became angry and frustrated until eventually she simply left us. So my sister and I fended for ourselves for a while. We got by."
The cat stopped again, but instead, did not continue. He was afraid to, for what happened next was too painful to speak of yet. After all, it had occurred only a few moons ago.
"I think that's enough for now..." Shadowthunder finally said, his voice a bit shaky.
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Post by Tears{May}Fall on Dec 17, 2006 12:59:31 GMT -5
Rainkit nodded. "I understand. My storie's sad too..." SHe said.
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Post by shadowthunder on Dec 17, 2006 20:44:11 GMT -5
Shadowthunder nodded to the little kit. He was grateful that she asked no more for now. He couldn't even bring himself to come close to talking about her. The tom cat nodded his head to his 'daughter' as a sigh of gratitude, for she understood his pain enough to stop. This got Shadowthunder thinking for a moment. Perhaps now, he could have someone to share his sorrow with, as well as his regrets. Rainkit could know how it felt. Then he stopped. No, as a father, it was his duty not to put any extra strain or sadness on his 'kin.' He would have to be content with only himself, as it always was.
Suddenly Shadowthunder felt incredibly stiff, which was probably an after effect of sitting there so long, so he got up and stretched out his front limbs. He now realized that his body was beginning to feel awefully numb.
"Well, It is in the past." Shadowthunder commented, feeling a bit more friendly. "We should try to have happier times in the future..."
Even Shadowthunder himself thought that to be almost impossible. Forgetting the past was something he felt he could never do. This made him a hypocrit, but Shadowthunder wanted Rainkit to be happier in her future.
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Post by Tears{May}Fall on Dec 18, 2006 14:53:57 GMT -5
Rainkit nodded. "Yes sir." She answered Shadowthunder politely.
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Post by shadowthunder on Dec 20, 2006 16:47:13 GMT -5
Shadowthunder halfsmiled and stood up, feeling tired of sitting and ready to move more. He knew that the conversation was winding down, and that Rainkit would have to leave soon. Stretching out once again, the large tom looked down into Rainkit's eyes.
"Well then," He mewed, "I believe that it is time to get back to my duties, and I'm sure you have other things to do as well," The tomcat nodded his head to the kit as a sign of farwell and paddded of, into other parts of the camp and finally disappearing out of sight.
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