Silverstream (thunderclan)

[wolfie]

[glow=green,2,300]Name:[/glow]
Silverstream
[glow=green,2,300]Clan:[/glow]
Thunderclan
[glow=green,2,300]Position:[/glow]
queen
[glow=green,2,300]Age:[/glow]
12 moons
[glow=green,2,300]Gender:[/glow]
she-cat
[glow=green,2,300]Peltage:[/glow]
She has gray fur with white paws,white muzzle,white neck and white belly, and at the tip of her tail it's white.
[glow=green,2,300]Picture:[/glow]

[glow=green,2,300]Personality:[/glow]
She is shy,friendy,positive but can be mean sometimes if she's annoyed to much.She loves to visit cats in thunderclan and talk to them. she usually stays in the camp often and rarely goes out of the camp except when she's told to. She's also very sensitive.
[glow=green,2,300]IC:[/glow]
Silverstream walked over to the fresh kill pile and took a pidgeon.
Then she decided to visit the elders and listen to their stories while she ate. After she finished eating, she padded towards the elder's den to listen to their stories. Suddenly, she heard a yowl and raced out into the clearing. She looked around and saw that rogue cats were attacking. She Raced towards the battle and started fighting. A few minutes later, The Battle ended.
[glow=green,2,300]Code:[/glow]
spring

[icefang]

First of all, 1 moon = 1 month. A cat is physically incapable of having kits until she is 8 moons old, and here, she will not have kits until she is a warrior. So, at one moon, she should be a very young kit. If you want her to be a queen she should be at least 12 moons. Also, your IC's okay, but the battle is unrealistic. Battles don't last for mere moments, so I'd go into more detail for that. But wait for an admin or mod (their names are in green or red) to comment on it.

[wolfie]

oops..
*fixes*

[icefang]

Much better! Now just wait for an admin/mod to accept it ^^