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Post by //Cindy// l u n a on Mar 2, 2009 11:17:00 GMT -5
Thornshadow blinked in surprise and looked at his new deputy. He was more than a little taken aback by her candid request. If it had been any other cat who'd inquired so ridiculously, he would have brushed it off, walked away, and forgotten about it. He might have even ignored the offensive cat from then on. It was the kind of question only a kit would ask. And the fact that his deputy had just voiced the childish words scared Thornshadow. But no matter. His deputy had asked the question, and he had to answer. It wasn't that easy to just tell about yourself. He had no idea what to say. I'm not a terrible interesting cat, he considered explaining. Nothing to say. Find out for yourself. But that was not only rude but also way to flirtatious for this interaction.
"I..." He regretted starting the statement, and his mind raced to find a way to finish it. "I'm a born WindClanner. I was a terribly immature apprentice." He paused, trying to think of something else that wasn't too strange or too normal. It went without saying that he liked hunting rabbits. How about... "I love green-leaf because of the smells." That was all he could think of, so he turned the conversation back to her. "And yourself?"
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on Mar 2, 2009 21:08:26 GMT -5
Seacross could tell she had made Thornshadow nervous, but didn't let it bother her. He would either figure out that she was a cat that could be trusted, or he wouldn't. She, of course, did not know his answer was due to her being deputy. The position was so new to her that she did not even consider it.
"Me?" asked Seacross. "Well I, unlike you, am not a born WindClanner. I come from a TwoLeg place that was called a 'city', and was adopted into WindClan when I wandered into their territory at seven moons. I'm not sure about 'immature', but I know I was a stubborn apprentice, and a touch rebellious. I love green-leaf as well, because my happiest memory was in green-leaf."
Seacross hoped that telling Thornshadow this would help lessen his nervousness. Of course, most of it wasn't anything she tried to hide, though she hadn't told anyone why she loved green-leaf before.
"What is your attitude towards life?" Seacross asked, curious, after a few seconds. She knew she should wait for Thornshadow to speak, but figured that he could say two things at once if he wanted to.
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Post by //Cindy// l u n a on Mar 7, 2009 18:53:42 GMT -5
My... my attitude towards life?" How in StarClan's name was he supposed to answer that question? It was somehow both not, and too straightforward - a question that the deputy seemed to have just asked without thinking about it first. Or maybe she had thought about it, and was trying to go somewhere with this conversation. His confusion making him nervous, Thornshadow flicked his tail back and forth; the base barely moving at all and the tip darting from side to side. He wanted to give his semi-short fur a quick wash, but didn't want to appear that obviously nervous. So he forced himself to search for an answer to the second impossible question in a row.
"Well.. I suppose I'm optimistic. But I'm not sure. And... well, how about you?"
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on Mar 8, 2009 15:07:32 GMT -5
Seacross was amused. Optimistic? Perhaps, but wasn't really what she had been asking. He had dodged her question, either skillfully or luckily. But she would not dodge the question; it had been a long time since she had felt the need to hide.
"I think you should....live life as you are meant to." Seacross meowed thoughtfully. Her 'attitude towards life' was rather difficult to explain, but she was determined to do it. "If you are playing with kits, then there is no need to be serious or mature. If you are talking to your leader about a battle plan, only the smallest of humor should be there, to ease the fear. If you are talking to a cat of another Clan then you dance on slippery river rocks, being careful to reveal no weaknesses. But when you talk to your Clanmate, you are open. Every emotion, every action should fit your situation. Sometimes they don't, but I'm not perfect."
Seacross then smiled. "This is just my personal view, however. I have seen others that work as well, but I think this is best for me. I hope I haven't confused you."
Seacross had inadvertantly answered Thornshadow's feelings about her kit-like behaviour, though it remained to be seen if he would connect it.
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 10, 2009 15:25:51 GMT -5
OOC: Cindy?
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Post by //Cindy// l u n a on Apr 11, 2009 20:06:01 GMT -5
ooc; ohhhh - i completely forgot i was part of this thread. so sorry!
As his deputy answered, Thornshadow realized that she had a totally different view of the question than he'd assumed. She was talking almost in terms of slogans - rules to live by. He hadn't been at all sure what she'd meant, and figured that she'd been talking about attitude in general. She just phrased the question oddly, that's all. And so he decided to answer the question she'd originally asked him, because something about the youth in her brought out an openness he didn't often feel. If she could be so frank, was there really a reason for him to hold in his own thoughts? His muscles stayed at comfortably ready as they always were, but something in his affect relaxed.
"Well... I think it's best to always be on your guard, even when you're completely safe. And also it's best to think about things - do what your leader and deputy say, of course, but also make sure you think about it. Because you might think of something they didn't - no disrespect of course." He dipped his head to Seacross in respect, even though he was certain he hadn't offended her. She seemed like the kind of cat who was not easy to offend. Hopefully she'd agree with his philosophy. He'd certainly toss hers around in the privacy of his own head.
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 12, 2009 8:14:01 GMT -5
OOC: It's fine. You're so busy, you can't remember everything.
Seacross brightened a bit, pleased that Thornshadow had relaxed. She could tell by how he talked to her; it was more open, offering more information. Of course, now his slight relunctance to talk to her made sense; he was being careful.
"I don't mind. You're right, after all. Kashstar and I are cats, not StarClan cats. We can make mistakes, and really it shows more loyalty to WindClan if you know that and try and make up for it." Seacross meowed, trying to explain how she felt without insulting anyone.
"So you're a better safe than sorry kind of cat? That's....interesting. I've met cats who will treat certain things that way, but you're the first I've met that treats everything that way." she meowed thoughtfully, turning Thornshadow's words over in her mind. "How has it worked for you?"
OOC: Meh. Short again. Oh well, my muse must have left today.
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Post by //Cindy// l u n a on Apr 20, 2009 18:20:40 GMT -5
Thornshadow looked his deputy in the eyes, trying to see anything behind her almost carefree expression. He was no talented reader, though, and realized that he was just stalling. It was a question he had never even asked himself, and was not exactly easy to answer. He had once or twice wished he'd taken risks he hadn't, but in the long run, don't you always remember bad more than good? It was rare that he looked back on something and thought If I'd gone out on that limb, I would have a squirrel to show. And he didn't really notice when the branch would have broken beneath his paws.
"It's not exactly easy to tell... but I think it's working out quite well." He wondered if he'd given the opposite answer what would have happened. A philosophy of life isn't something that's easy to change, but knowing himself, he would consider the question carefully, turn it over in his mind and inspect it from so many angles. "And your philosophy? Did you ever go by a different one?"
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on Apr 23, 2009 14:53:09 GMT -5
Working out well for him? Considering he was alive and healthy, that was probably true. He even seemed mildy happy.
Seacross gave his question careful thought.
"I'm happy, most of the time. I'm alive, I have a clan to protect, a life to live.....I'd say it's worked out well for me." she meowed softly. Then, knowing she was avioding the second part of his quetion on purpose, she half growled at herself.
"I did. It....was a long time ago." Seacross meowed, knowing he could easily notice the pause in her words and call her on it. But taking into account his philosophy on life, he wouldn't.
Seacross decided her relief was far too freeing.
"Would you help me with something?" she asked, rather abrurtly, wanting to get it out before she convinced herself it wasn't a good idea.
OOC: Still short...oh well. Maybe I'm just burnt out.
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Post by //Cindy// l u n a on Apr 25, 2009 10:17:23 GMT -5
Thornshadow tilted his head slightly as he watched his deputy and listened to her. She seemed to be struggling for words. He realized that the second part of his question had been quite personal, and wondered whether or not he should have asked it. But then, she was digging into his emotions, too - shouldn't it go both ways? In some lights, it should. Her status as deputy made it a lot more acceptable for her to question him than visa versa. He payed close attention to her every movement, trying subconsciously to decode her strange behavior and attitude.
And then, she asked him to help her with something. Trying not to display his surprise to vividly, he nodded. "Of course," was his reply, but his tone had an undeniable undercurrent of wariness. Flicking his tail a little and letting himself wonder what she meant, he waited for her to explain herself. It was an out-of-context request... wan't it?
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on May 3, 2009 21:02:46 GMT -5
Seacross brightened slightly, but the playfulness had gone from her face.
"I'll need you to listen. And, if I stop, tell me to keep talking. It might be a bit sad." she meowed, her voice warning. She didn't want Thornshadow to get into anything he wouldn't want to be in. "You're okay with that?"
Seacross watched him intently.
He would be the first cat she told all of her past to. Not because she knew him well, but because she knew him well enough to know he wouldn't tell. And also because she didn't know him, so it wouldn't mess up an already exsisting relationship. And last, because she was tired of her own fear.
Maybe she could tell others after this....make light of it, like she did almost everything else. But he'd have to agree first.
OOC: Sorry, not the best post.
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Post by //Cindy// l u n a on May 8, 2009 20:28:53 GMT -5
He could feel his heart rate increasing, his paw pads dampening with nervous sweat. He was a bit afraid of what he was about to hear, but that was only a fraction of the reason that he was hesitant. It was more a fear of after she told him, and not only the pressure he would feel to react in the correct way. He was really worried about the burden that a secret would put on his shoulders. He wouldn't tell, of that he was sure. But unspoken words were heavy, and he had to be ready for the weight. Taking a deep breath of cool air, he readied his mind.
"I'm listening. Go ahead." He shifted most of his weight subtly from one side to the other, then back to his normal stance. His tail flicked slightly, an inch above the hard-packed dirt of the camp. He wasn't going to hide his wariness, although he didn't make a big deal out of the feeling.
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on May 9, 2009 13:44:54 GMT -5
Seacross nodded. She could see he was prepared. Wariness showed in his movements, but it was clear he had made his choice and if she delayed any longer, she was merely hiding.
Seacroos took a deep breath and began her story, spilling the words out quickly so that she wouldn't stop.
"When I was little, barely old enough to be carried, to walk, my family moved to the place that the Two-legs have, all made of stone. My family was only my brother, my mother and me. I can't remember much about where we lived before, I only know it was wet. My mother never said why we moved, but I think.....I remember having a sister. And maybe she died in a flood. But I don't know." Seacross paused to take a breath of air and slow down.
She glanced over at Thornshadow, making sure he was still listening, then forced herself to continue.
"When we got to the Two-leg place, it's called a city, it....it was bad. Mother could barely find us food, and she ate almost nothing. There was no soft place to sleep; we slept on the stone, in corners. But what changed that was...my mother got into a fight over our food. She won, but she was hurt, and her wounds were infected. All she wanted to do was sleep, and while she tried to get us food, she couldn't. My brother went out 'hunting' on his own, but he could never catch anything. And he wouldn't let me go with him. Mother got worse, she didn't seem to even know what she was saying, and I sneaked away to try and find someone to help her. For three days I couldn't find anyone who would help, not unless I gave them something, and we had nothing. Then......"
Seacross trailed off, a faraway look in her eyes. She was thinking about the cat who had taught her all she knew about healing, who had.....
She didn't even notice Thornshadow was there.
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Post by //Cindy// l u n a on May 12, 2009 5:09:57 GMT -5
As the story sped out of her, Thornshadow could see Seacross moving across distances, to however far away this city was. And although he was listening to her words, she herself was moons in the past. He knew that even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to join her. Even if it were possible, he didn't think he'd want to; who knows how horrible the experience had been for the deputy? He wasn't sure where she was going with this story, and although he hesitantly wanted to find out, he stayed silent, let her stop. He said nothing, not wanting to pull her out of the memory she seemed to be in. He didn't let himself react to her story, not at least until he knew most of it.
ooc; not the best post. sorry.
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Post by *Simply Seasle* on May 25, 2009 18:48:34 GMT -5
Seacross shook herself back to the present, at least enough to keep on explaining.
"Her name was Leaf. It wasn't the most orginal name, but.....Leaf was willing to help me, and only asked for my time in return. And even in that she helped me, because I learned about herbs while helping her, learned how to fish, how to hunt, as much as a cat my age could, while helping her.....and my mother was soon healthy again. I taught my mother and brother all I had learned while helping Leaf, and I thought....I thought everything would turn out okay." Seacross whispered, her eyes bitter.
"And then, a half a moon, maybe, after I had come back from Leaf's, after I thought things were going to be okay....I came back home, and found my mother dead, my brother gone. I've never found my brother again.....but I hope he found a good home with Twolegs, and didn't just die somewhere far away. I was devastated.....I went to Leaf, asked her what I should do. She told me I could stay with her, and for a while I did....until I met Stoneleaper."
Seacross paused again, lost in old memories. Her eyes softened a touch....those days had been the best of her life, once.
OOC: And after this, it's over. Not the best post either. Sorry it took so long.
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